Dear Ellie,

You may not know much of this world, being more concerned with the cartoons on the TV , but know that I love you very much.

When dad passed, all he could speak of was how worried he is about you, how sorry he is that you have to live without him. I promised I would take up his role, but double duty aint easy, that much is true. Coming home from work and prepare dinner, playing with you, putting you to bed, I would crash directly to the bed hoping it would absorb me, your cries in the middle of the night is the only alarm clock I need to spring back to reality.

I know, that set of vocabulary flashcards is a nightmare for me too, spending hours after hours trying to get you to memorize vowels and pictures makes you wallow, but you have to know these things, just like you have to understand, to my suffering, that playing the same song for 1000th times a day does things to your mind.

When you are forming actual sentences instead of noises and jitters, you asked me all kinds of questions. Funnily most of them has to do with me. “Why do you have to go out every morning?” as I was bathing you. “Why do I look like you?” as I comb your hair. “Do you have a mummy too?” as I read your bedtime story.

I do have a mummy, my sweetheart. And while she could not remember, I still love her very much.

For eternity,

Your child

GRIEF

Andy

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